One of the worst things that has happened in my life has been my divorce.  It has also been one of the things I am now most thankful for in my life.  When I say this to people their heads cock to the side like a dog that is confused and their faces tighten up in disbelief or confusion.  Yet this is true, for me.  Going through a divorce was painful, all my dreams, my desires, my wants were yanked out from under me.  After we mutually agreed that this wasn’t the right relationship for us I sat on the couch for 3 months and ate ice cream.  I was depressed.

About 3 ½ months after the final decision I saw a friend of mine, I hadn’t seen him or talked to him since the final decision.  He asked how I had been and I told him about the divorce.  My voice was sad, my face was sad and he looked me right in the eyes and said “CONGRATULATIONS!”  Now it was my turn for my face to tighten, my head to cock to the side, the sound of Scooby Doo “Huuuu?” going through my head, looking at him in disbelief.  He saw this look on my face and said “No one who’s ever gone through a divorce has said they should have stayed in the relationship longer.”  Now I have no idea if that is actually true, I’m sure some people would argue that, yet for me it hit a nerve.

I knew I had made the right decision to end the marriage, I knew that I had done the best I could do, we both had.  Yet we both knew it was time to move on.  Hearing “CONGRATULATIONS!” at such a point in my life was exactly the words I needed to hear in order to start a new chapter in my life, it prompted me to turn the page on depression and writing my new life.

The pages were blank, the ideas were fresh, I was curious, I was scared and more then anything I was determined to have the life that I knew I deserved and wanted.  That was one of the first moments when I realized that going through the divorce was going to end up being a very good thing for me (and for him too).

It’s now been over 3 years and my life is completely different then it was back then.  The shifts, the changes, the growth I’ve made in the past 3 years has been extraordinary.  Going through the divorce was one of the hardest things I’ve gone through at this point in my life and it’s one of the things I’m most grateful for because it’s put on this path I’m now on and I love the direction I’m headed.