I remember the day very clearly.  It was about 3 years ago yet it's still very clear in my memory.  The day I learned the lesson that my life was exactly where it was at because of the choices I had made.  I was not in a good place emotionally.  I was not in a good relationship.  I was not happy.  I was not being honest with myself.  I was exactly where I was because of the choices I had made.

It wasn’t anyone else’s fault.  There was no one to blame.  Not even myself.  Life stopped for me that day.  It stopped dead in its tracks as my mind wrapped itself around the concept.  On the inside I was screaming, “I DID NOT CHOOSE TO HAVE THIS LIFE, I DID NOT CHOOSE TO FEEL THIS WAY”. 

Ironically I did.  I did exactly that.  I had made the choices, the decisions that lead me down the path, that lead me to that exact moment in time.  The moment was surreal for me.  I think I walked around for a week with my head in a cloud as I grasped the idea.  The idea that I was where I was at because of the choices I made.

I was the one that choose how I felt.  I was the one that choose how I talked to myself.  I was the one that choose how I communicated with others.  I was the one that choose the meaning I placed behind events.  I was the one who choose the questions I asked myself.  I was the one that choose to ignore my inner voice.  I was the one that choose what I focused on.  It was my choice and I realized I had not been making positive choices.  I choose to look at the negative.  I choose to ask myself what’s wrong with me.  I choose to ask myself what is wrong with him.  I choose to ask myself what is wrong with her.  I choose to focus on what was wrong with every situation.

I choose to look at the situation as black or white, as right or wrong.  I choose not to see everything that was in the middle.  I choose not to see the grey area.  I choose to judge others by their looks.  I choose to judge myself by my looks.  I choose to do things I did not agree with.  I choose to put other’s feelings before my own.  I choose to do what other’s wanted or expected me to do.  I had made all those choices.  I slowly realized that since I was the one that had made the choices for where I was at, then I was the one that could change the direction I was heading.

I now had the conscious awareness that I had the choice to improve things.  I had the strength, the power, the control to make better choices.  In turn I would have a better life.  So I decided to make better choices and that is exactly what I did.  I choose to use positive language.  I choose to ask myself more powerful questions.  I choose to focus on the positive not the negative.  I choose the meaning I put behind events.  I choose how I felt.  I choose to listen to my inner voice.  I choose what was right for me.  I choose to stop judging myself.  I choose to stop judging others.  I choose to love myself.  I choose to look at everything that was great about me.  I choose to change my career.  I choose a new relationship.  I choose a new life.  I choose to take ownership of where I was at in my life.  I choose not to blame others.  I choose to take responsibility.  I choose to respect myself.  I choose to accept myself.  I choose to express myself.  I choose to be true to myself.  I choose to life my life to the fullest.  I choose to smile.  I choose to have fun.  I choose to communicate my feelings.  I choose to be honest.  I choose…